Parenting through divorce may feel more challenging during emotional stages accompanied by the transition. The pain of divorce moves through a process that is very much like what happens to us when someone we love dies. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross did extensive work with terminal patients and studied how their feelings changed from the process of initial discovery to eventual death. These stages are useful in understanding how children grieve about the loss of the family as they imagined it. The grieving process is a progression of feelings and emotional states that move by stages. Grief is a normal way children deal with loss. These stages may vary in order; may be experienced simultaneously, or may be revisited after having progressed into the next stage. The grief process is painful, difficult, and inevitable, but the end result is healing, which will ultimately lead to growth. The initial reaction to any traumatic event is shock; an inability or unwillingness to believe what is happening. After the initial shock, Kubler-Ross identifies five stage of coping with loss: 1. Denial - Denial is a common first response children experience because they need to believe that their parents will change their minds and the divorce is not going to happen. "Mom or Dad will change their mind." "Dad will come home next week."