I am a poet who is privileged to have known a woman who was raped from childhood into her late twenties. I say privileged because she felt comfortable enough with me to divulge this story. This poem was the result of her moving tale of a time when her partner raped her.

One Fine Evening?

One fine evening, when she wasn't feeling too good.

They went to bed, for her, to sleep

As she wasn't in the mood.

She tried to resist but he did persist.

Her knees wouldn't hold and he wouldn't be told,

So she just went cold,

Her feelings turning to ice.

The very next day he went away

And she slashed the bed and her pants.

Then she forgot and tended to the children's wants.

She'd stayed very quiet

While he'd had his own way,

So that the kids could continue to play.

But she knew he'd be back one day

To take the family's shame away

At the time she didn't know

About the control he had gained

Nor about how he'd taught her

To be restrained

From going to another to shed a tear

For it was this that he did fear

The exposition of his womanly hates

That came out in his personality traits

Of beating her when he got drunk

Or standing over her so much that she shrunk

There's not much about this that's very nice

But excuse me if I fear not where I tread

For I believe these words MUST BE SAID!

There's a positive side to that which I write

And that is to realize and not to spite.

The woman in the tale has remembered again

Of the pattern and pain of her self restrain.

To put all others first and know where she was at.

"A servant to man" can be taken far too literally.

copyright R. Frodsham 1999.

Through getting to know her I also got to know the ex-partner, as he is now.

Their story left me feeling that as long as the subject remains taboo in society, society is part of the problem. For me we are "either part of the solution or part of the problem" (Martin Luther King). I can see no middle ground.

I want to encourage other men to discuss the controversial subject of rape openly and responsibly. The more that responsible men discuss this subject, the more that men who commit this heinous crime will realize they need help. I believe it is an illness.

I recognize that some women also act in similar ways towards young boys, but I appeal to men to take the lead in changing our view, because we are the only ones who can!

I sent this poem to a UK women's magazine and they very kindly replied saying that I need to be talking to men. Let's face it, if a man is prepared to have sex against the will of a woman, he is certainly not going to listen to her trying to discuss this subject with him.

A couple of well known UK mens magazines were also sent the poem. Both of them also replied. Although they were encouraging they said that they cannot publish the poem as there is no market for it.

I disagree. Just because some men might like to look at pictures of scantily dressed women doesn't mean to say they are not interested in reading about what some women go through, or discussing the subject with their mates.

For me, I feel compelled to now publish this poem and present it in this way. The reason behind this is that as the children of these relationships get older, some of them may grow to believe that this sort of behaviour is normal, a part of love.

If rape continues to remain taboo, these children may follow on in the "Family Tradition". With no outside influences to counter the effects our own society helps perpetrate this crime through it's own apathy.

I understand that many men feel uncomfortable openly discussing rape. If I am right in stating that rapists are ill we can recognize that our anger with regards to this subject is truly misplaced. This will enable us to discuss the subject with more sensitivity and therefore with greater influence.

As a father of four beautiful daughters I would like to be a part of a movement that, through true humanity, could lessen the potential for my girls and others like them to suffer in this way.

To put it bluntly, if we men truly possess balls lets display them in an appropriate way! Let's use them in a way that truly humbles others and lead by example.

If you are moved by this written work, please, please, pass it on to as many men as you can.

R. Frodsham 18/07/2007

About the Author

I am a poet who writes about anything that interests me enough to move me. I am a father of 4 children living in the UK. Social issues very much inspire me as my children will grow up in this society and if there is one thing in society I would like to see change it would be our apathy towards changing things for the better.