Not all traditions are bad. Of course they're not. Some traditions are what keep our families glued together. But in businesses, in churches, even in families, tradition just for the sake of tradition can be bad. Knowing why we participate in traditions is important, especially when they are company, church or other organization traditions. But even family traditions should be examined to see if they are hurtful or helpful.
Dictionary.com lists many definitions of the word tradition. They include: "the handling down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice; a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting; a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices; a customary or characteristic method or manner; a theology."
Where I think we get into trouble is when traditions include the continuing of a way of thinking or a cultural belief where there is acceptance without thinking through why the tradition exists or how it began. To me, such mindless acceptance is why there is still prejudice and discrimination. Prejudice, after all, is "An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts." By accepting an action or thought process as traditional, it is easy to see how it could become a prejudicial act as well.
But family traditions, traditions that embrace the act of being together in celebration, can be fun and beneficial. One of my sisters has some very special Christmas traditions established many years ago when her girls, now about 19 and 23, were young. They held a cookie exchange each year for their friends and each of their mothers. What fun they had, and what a great assortment of cookies they received each year because of this event.
My sister also purchases special Christmas ornaments each year for her daughters. When her eldest got married, she had quite an unusual assortment to take with her as she established her own home and traditions.
My sister also puts a pickle ornament on her own tree each year. I'm not sure to which legend she ascribes about the pickle ornament. Both are supposedly German in origin. One says that the child who finds the pickle ornament will receive an extra present. The other says that the child will receive good luck or good fortune in the year to come.
The Internet is full of references to this supposed German tradition. However, here's a link to an article by About.com disclaiming this German myth. http://german.about.com/library/blgermyth11.htm
While it's interesting to discover that the original reason my sister placed the pickle ornament on the tree might be in error, I doubt she will discontinue the practice. It has become a family tradition, even if the assumption of the origin is incorrect.
In this instance, the origin of the tradition doesn't really matter because the act of placing a pickle ornament on the Christmas tree doesn't hurt anyone. But traditions steeped in error that are or can be hurtful are the ones we must examine.
Recently, I received an email from 48 Days. 48 Days is a coaching, seminar and self-help company with programs to change your life in 48 days. In the weekly newsletter, Dan Miller mentioned a story from ThinkerToys by Michael Michalko.
It said, "Imagine a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage there is a banana on a string. Before long a monkey walks over and reaches for the banana. As soon as he touches the banana, all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt to grab the banana ? with the same result. All the monkeys are instantly sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to reach for the banana, the other monkeys will try to stop him.
Now forget the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and obviously goes over and starts to grab it. But to his surprise, all of the other monkeys attack him to prevent him from touching the banana.
Next, remove another of the original monkeys and replace it with a new one. Now all of the monkeys currently in the cage stop the new one from getting to the banana. Replace the third, fourth and fifth monkeys with new ones Each one becomes a willing opponent to allowing anyone to touch that banana.
Soon there are none of the original monkeys in that cage, yet they continue to stay away from bananas, a food they would normally love.
This is what happens to us when we blindly follow traditions of companies, churches, organizations. There are sometimes crazy activities that we continue to follow without giving any thought to the reasons behind them.
Dan Miller continues, "Does your church sit in pews, sing 3 songs and have a 30 minute sermon because that's the best way to complete God's work here, or just because that's become a cultural tradition?"
I smiled as I read that question. The church I attend has round tables instead of pews. We drink coffee and eat donuts while we listen to the sermon, and the round tables provide a perfect surface for taking notes and for visiting quietly with our neighbors.
Our pastor bucked tradition from the beginning. He arrived at the church 23 years ago with a guitar in tow. He used "media" in his church services when that mean using 8mm movies and slide projectors and overhead projectors. Now, of course, he uses computers and big screens, and our praise team and the "pulpit" have the latest sound equipment. And lest you think otherwise, ours is not a mega-church. We have, at most, 200 members and our pastor is the only paid staff member. Although our church is United Methodist, the sign outside says Salem Community Church. Still, there are new traditions in the midst of one who rebels against many traditions. I doubt that those round tables will be removed while this pastor presides over the church. He has established that as a church tradition.
While thinking about strange traditions, I thought about the joke about the mother who was teaching her teen daughter to cook the "traditional" ham for a family holiday dinner. Have you heard this one?
The mother was preparing the ham and she cut off the end of it and put it aside to use for sandwiches. She spoke to her daughter about how to season the ham and when to add the pineapples to the pan. She saw that her daughter's face was all scrunched up in confusion.
"What?" asked the mom.
"Why did you cut off the end of the ham?" inquired the daughter.
"Weeeeellllll......" stammered the mom. "I'm not really sure. My mother always cut off the end of the ham. Maybe it doesn't cook up as well. Grandma will be here tonight for dinner and we'll ask her."
When Grandma arrived, and before she could even get her coat off, her granddaughter excitedly said, "Grandma, Mom is teaching me how to make the ham. Why did you cut off the end of the ham? Mom didn't know."
Grandma let out a loud belly laugh. "Why, dear, I cut off the end of the ham because I couldn't fit it in the pan if I didn't. I liked using the pan I got from my mother, but it was never quite big enough for the size ham I got. So I cut off the tip."
What about you? Are you cutting off the end of the ham without knowing why?
As Dan Miller said, "Take the next 7 days to challenge all your daily assumptions. You may be surprised how you can uncover some readily available fresh, tasty bananas right within your reach!"
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Here's a link to the whole newsletter referenced above: http://www.48days.com/newsletter_archives/archive.php?date=20070918 If you read it, be sure to take note of Cindy Cashman's book Everything Men Know About Women. I think you'll get a kick out of how creative Cindy was 20 years ago when this book first published. As Dan Miller says, you might think, "Why didn't I think of that?"
About the Author
Marilyn Mackenzie has been writing about home, family, faith and nature for over 40 years. She is an author on http://www.Writing.Com which is a site for Creative Writers. Her portfolio can be found at http://kenzie.writing.com
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