Should you date Commitaphobic men? It's long over do; a discussion on the subject needs to be addressed.
I want to alert you to a certain type of single gay guy or twink that may cause you problems. This type of man is called, "The Commitaphobic." Let me paraphrase the description of the Commitaphobic to you as Don Diebel, who is a singles expert, lays it out:
The Commitaphobic single is confused and has very little idea of what he wants from a relationship. The Commitaphobic is the type who often breaks up and then begs to come back only to break up again. He hates being alone but is apparently incapable of making a solid commitment to another.
Being unsure as to how he sees you in his future does not equate to someone being mean or malicious behavior is intent. It does not mean he is evil, it just simply means he is indecisive. He is happy to string you along without promising commitment if you allow it, for months or even years if you let him. As soon as you do or say the littlest thing that sounds like tying him down or you want to be assured of a monogamous relationship, he runs for the hills where you can't catch him. And guess what happens next? That's right, as soon as he senses you aren't holding onto him, he will come back to you and you for another undeserving chance.
Your biggest problem develops when you keep accepting this little twink back. He gets the idea that when you tell him your desires he can run out on you. But when he shares his desires with you, like wanting you back, you don't run, you welcome him back with open arms. This message tells him that he can treat you like a doormat, he can come and go as he pleases, and your needs are not of any importance. If they were, wouldn't you treat your self better? And expect him to treat you better as well? I know you've all seen it happen to a friend. The longer you allow him to play "come and go" like this, the less he will ever understand what, or who it is he wants in his life, if anyone. And do you really want to be that gay guy whose friends all know you are dating a twink that doesn't really deserve you and treats you like dirt? No, you deserve and desire better than this.
Your only solution in breaking this cycle of the abuse your Commitaphobic puts you through, is you cannot take him back next time he leaves you. Let him get the experience he needs with other men and twinks to eventually decide on his own about what kind of man he wants to really commit to. If you aren't that gay man he's looking to commit to, then better for you to know as soon as possible, rather than after he's stolen more time from you. Time that you could be use to find that special man who does know what they want.
About the Author
Spanky is an avid reviewer of Gay Porn and recommends his articles for everything you need to know in the industry.
|