TV ads promoting the joys of drugs such as Viagra, often feature a morning-after Casanova who appears to be in seventh heaven as he leaps the fence and skips along the sidewalk in the sure and confident knowledge that yes ... he got it up the night before. The ads are supposed to be a celebration of sexuality, but when you think about it, they're really, well ... sad. If you need a pill to get it on with your partner, a few questions should be asked about why you require chemical enhancement in the first place.

There is no argument that when a medical condition such as a cardiovascular problem or diabetes prevents a man from getting an erection, Viagra can be a great back-up. The same is true for older men who may be experiencing ED problems. But in a lot of cases Viagra has become a bit like a recreational drug. Guys who are hit and miss in the sack often pop a pill or two to avoid the embarrassment of being unable to perform adequately.

If a man has difficulty getting it on when he's under stress, then clearly the problem is the stress and not the plumbing. By popping a pill he is short-circuiting the problem. After all the inability to perform adequately is nature's message that he needs to take a look at the stress in his life and make some changes. Drug use simply masks the problem.

A man who uses Viagra when there is no diagnosable problem that warrants its use, in a sense is cheating himself. He doesn't have to engage on a personal level if he doesn't feel like it. He can dispense with foreplay if it seems inconvenient. Courtesy of a pill he's suddenly armed and dangerous. In a state of chemically induced arousal he can more easily avoid the emotional engagement that might make sex with his partner more of a challenge under normal circumstances.

The best sex is never simply about performance, there also needs to be a degree of honesty that allows the partners to open up emotionally. If there is a stand-off emotionally and a man overrides issues in the relationship by popping a pill, it may give him the illusion that all is well with the world, when in fact his partner may feel unrecognized, unloved or even used. I've come across a few reports of women who refused to cater to their Viagra fueled partners because they felt important issues in the relationship were simply being railroaded now that the men could simply take a pill.

Part of the problem with Viagra appeal is that it creates the impression it's all about the tools. The personal side of sex gets short-changed when a chemical (in the case of Viagra, sildenafil citrate) makes it easier for a man to avoid interpersonal issues that have been interfering with his sexual response patterns. Suddenly "happy days are here again" and its all about celebrating an erection, rather than celebrating the aspects of sexuality that are rooted in the power of togetherness.

Many couples who have excellent relationships occasionally use Viagra to enhance their love making. When it is used responsibly it can be a plus. However when it becomes a substitute for what a guy can do naturally, there is the danger of dependency creeping in. A man who didn't have an ED problem when he started on a regular Viagra regimen, may well find he has one when he decides to quit.

About the Author

Aidan Maconachy is a freelance writer and artist based in Ontario.. You can visit his blog at http://aidanmaconachyblog.blogspot.com/