Here are a couple ways to help you see the line between a soft addiction and a productive activity more clearly:

Zoning out. A good way to identify a soft addiction is to notice whether or not you zone out as you are doing it. When we are zoned out, we are not fully engaged. We may be daydreaming or have a "no one is home" expression plastered on our face. Zoning out implies that the goal of our activity is to become numb. Although we're physically participating, our mind is elsewhere. When we're finished with the activity we usually do not remember the things we have done, seen, or read. While this generally occurs while viewing television, it may also happen while shopping, working, having superficial conversations, or doing any number of activities.

Avoiding feelings. Some activities numb us to our emotions, especially very strong emotions. We evade feelings by being numb to them, enhancing the feelings that we enjoy to the rejection of others, or indulging in your favorite unpleasant feeling to avoid other unpleasant feelings. A good number of us feel uneasy about our deepest feelings, whether they are good or bad. We frequently don't know how to safely handle our sadness or anger so we find an activity or a mood that facilitates an emotion-muting state, smothering our sadness, anger or other unresolved feelings.

Compulsiveness. Does an irresistible urge drive you to indulge a particular behavior or mood? Do you feel compelled to do, have, or purchase something, even though you understand that you don't need it? This may be accompanied by a helpless, powerless feeling. You may have a difficult time attempting to quit or diminish the amount of hours wasted on the activity. Despite the fact that you may find some transient pleasure, you often feel rotten about yourself afterward. You keep on following the habit, repeating to yourself, I will never do this again. Though you attempt to quit, you cannot.

Rationalization. If you're defensive or start justifying your behavior, it is most likely a soft addiction. Denial is refusing to admit and rationalization is making excuses to justify a compulsive behavior. Both blunt our self-awareness and lower our expectations of ourselves. To make our actions acceptable, we overlook, cover up, or gloss over the real motive or price. We either convince ourselves that our habit is not a problem or we make excuses why it's a good or necessary way to spend our time. "What's so bad about a few cups of coffee?" is a average rationalization. We may deny that the hours spent surfing the Net are a great waste of time and energy. The urge to justify an activity suggests a soft addiction.

Stinking thinking. Related to denial and rationalization, "stinking thinking" is faulty thinking built on incorrect beliefs. Oversimplifying, amplifying, minimizing, justifying, blaming, and emotional reasoning are a couple examples. Stinking thinking generates the silly logic of soft addictions. For example, "there aren't calories when I eat standing up," or "I can't work out if I have already taken a shower." Woven throughout soft addiction routines, this type of thinking is addictive. The distorted thoughts persuade us to indulge in a soft addiction in the first place and later make it easy for us to justify the indulgence.

Concealing the behavior. Beware of habits that become guilty pleasures you seek to hide. Covering up the amount of hours you spend on an activity or being deceitful to other people about how you frequently spend your time or money suggests that you have soft addictions. In other words, you are are embarrassed of the things you are doing and that is why you wish to hide it from others.

About the Author

Judith Wright is an author, speaker, educator, and seminar leader. She has taught workshops on overcoming soft addictions and creating "More" for twelve years. You can contact her through her Web site at www.theremustbemore.com. See also Massive Personal Growth