You know how the old song goes.... "you've got to ac-cent-chu-ate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch onto the affirmative, don't mess with Mr. In-Between.... Or something like that. Easy to say, but just how easy is it to eliminate the negative, especially when it comes to our thoughts. We all have negative times, and quite frankly, I could say that I used to be the expert at it. The glass was always half empty, I was always "grumpy", there was always a drama unfolding, the bills were behind, I had no food, I was a useless mother, the list went on and on. I had tunnel vision, I could not see anything but my own dilemmas, and this had been the case for most of my life. Having depression didn't help the cause, and slowly but surely I fell into that black abyss that life becomes when you constantly call yourself a "failure", or "why did you do that you stupid so and so", or "loser". The constant internal put downs, unbeknownst to me, were way worse and more soul destroying than what was going on "outside." So, how do you fix it? And how did I fix it? Well let me tell you that there is no quick fix for this. There is no change your thinking pill, there is no personality exchange going on here. First, I made the decision not to be hard on myself about anything. Then I became a "watcher". I started "watching" everything I said to myself, and I became the judge and jury. Every time I put myself down I argued with myself, asked what proof did I have, and then cut myself some slack and reminded myself that I was doing the best that I could with what I knew at that moment in time. Slowly but surely the negative talking became less and less and it was then that I started making big deals about the "small" things. Every time I accomplished something small, I mentally gave myself a pat on the back. "Hey well done you got up, showered and washed the dishes." "Hey well done you made that appointment, well done you reached out to someone, well done what ever." You get the point. So, the negative inner talk was replaced with positive inner talk. (Very smart.) Giving ourselves some slack, watching our inner talking and acknowledging the "small stuff" can be great for our self confidence, self-esteem, and negative thinking. So don't mess with Mr. In-Between, eliminate the negative by "watching" and being kind to yourself. Accentuate the positive by giving yourself some credit for all the things that you do accomplish throughout your day, even if you only managed to take out the rubbish. Sing your praises and remember that you are doing the best with what you know right now. Don't be hard on yourself, and one day when someone asks how you are, you will be able to say "I'm great" and really mean it. When you can do that, it's the best feeling ever.... Trust me.