"Make the big spiritual leap and just forgive them. Turn the other check. If Master Jesus and other great spiritual teachers can do it, so can you. Just let go of your anger and rise above it." Forgiveness! What a challenge it is to really forgive and forget.
Forgiveness is one of the central "food groups" for nourishing our connection to the soul. If we can't forgive those who have hurt us, how can we move on with our lives? How can we expect others to forgive us? How can we forgive ourselves when we have hurt others?
When friends suggest I practice forgiveness in a situation where I have been wronged, a rising surge of anger lands like a fireball in the pit of my solar plexus (the energy center/chakra just below the rib cage). Retreating from this impossible spiritual demand, my usual self-righteous mutterings explode out loud as I rant and rave at all the spiritual teachers who I imagine are shaking their heads in disgust at my inability to forgive. Defensively I respond, "I hate this forgiveness thing. Why do I have to do it; no one else does? I can't pretend to forgive someone if I am really furious at them. Why do I have to do the work of trying to forgive them when they were hurtful to me? They should be doing the work of making it up to me somehow." And so the litany goes, deepening my resentment as hopes of forgiving dissolve into the boiling waters of rage and victim hood.
"If that isn't bad enough, this process is eventually topped off with a good dose of self-criticism as I berate myself for these rebellious thoughts. How will I ever reach enlightenment if I can't even forgive someone for harmful actions or words that may or may not have been premeditated? How can I swallow all that rage in order to find enough love in my heart to forgive?
As long as we are stuck in unresolved anger, we cannot release whatever "crime" is committed against us. We remain victims of other people's hurtfulness. As long as we believe we are victims, we have no power. To be disempowered is to be angry. How can we break this cycle to allow forgiveness to surface?
"We cannot simply jump over negative feelings in order to arrive in the land of forgiveness; a realm we imagine is inhabited by advanced spiritual beings. Forgiveness is not a transcendent function. It is impossible to simply rise above the heavy, hot feelings bubbling up from wounds inflicted by those who devalue our being and violate boundaries. The only road to true forgiveness is through the intensity of our rage and hurt and out the other side. This is an alchemical process, one that literally transmutes the energy of anger into love.
"The key to this transmutation is acceptance. If we can accept that we have been hurt, not judging our angry response to that hurt, then we can allow our emotions to flow freely dislodging the illusions that set us up to be injured in the first place. Releasing these illusions empowers us with greater understanding of how to take care of ourselves. This frees us to let go of the anger, knowing we are better equipped to prevent future betrayals of our trust. The more we feel empowered in self-knowledge and self-love, the more we can accept human nature with its inevitable pitfalls leading to "crimes" of the heart and soul.
"The Tibetan teaches:
""Forgiveness is the softening action that opens the heart to the soul. It emerges through the heart's wisdom based in a realm beyond preconceived judgments of right or wrong. This allows acceptance of the full range of the human condition, complete with all of its loveless actions.
"'Forgiveness is a prerequisite for enlightenment. Self cannot fully embrace the soul while clinging to wounds and hurts no longer necessary for growth. Each perceived wound has a function to clarify the soul's needs. When this function is fulfilled, it is necessary to release the negative emotions surrounding the wound. The wound is not simply a hurtful situation but a lesson that springs from illusion. This understanding allows self to forgive those who are hurtful, accepting them as a vital part of the process leading to self knowledge and soul connection.
"'Painful relationships are often carried over from previous lifetimes, generated by karmic agreements mandating experiences which recreate wounding, hurts, betrayals and neglects. This offers insight into belief systems about self, others and Source (God) leading to forgiveness of others as well as gratitude for the opportunity, however painful, to come to terms with behaviors that are lifetimes old. Attempting to forgive without examining why one attracts the wounding experience to begin with forfeits the opportunity to grow in awareness. Ironically, the anger and sadness in need of resolution is then pushed into the unconscious. This allows the ego/ personality to identify itself with the spiritual "virtue" of forgiveness without having really earned the experience of true forgiveness.
"'Forgiveness is based in the heart. After digesting the hurt, anger and grief, and resolving to address the issue through self-love, the solar plexus relaxes its contraction which stemmed from feelings of powerlessness. All beings have the power to transmute wounds into wisdom. Only when this is accomplished can the realm of true forgiveness be accessed.
"'Forgiveness starts with self. To forgive self for being a victim is as necessary as forgiving self for being a victimizer. Forgiveness is not an act, but a vantage point on the human condition. From this vantage point the student can see and accept the imperfect world of humankind. Because humanity has not yet achieved the ability to love unconditionally, it continues to hurt itself through its illusions of separation.
' "When the student moves deeply into the heart center, he/she can try on the perspective of Master Jesus, the Buddha or the Divine Mother and understand, with compassion, the process of becoming spiritual beings. The acceptance of this process makes it easier to forgive self and others for the illusions that bring hurt and pain. While in this expanded state of consciousness, one sees the foolishness of holding onto former wounds. Forgiveness is the only mechanism for truly letting go of past hurts. In the act of forgiving others, self experiences universal compassion which elevates consciousness, allowing greater access to the Higher Self.
"'True forgiveness is not a patronizing pat on the head to those that have hurt self, reflecting a superiority that obscures the common ground that unites all beings. Forgiveness is an act of humility. To forgive self for creating experiences of being hurt, neglected and/or threatened allows self to forgive the abusers.
"'Forgiveness is the only road to freedom. It makes it possible to release the past and rejoice in the liberation that awaits those of heightened compassion. This compassion stems from a deeper knowledge and understanding of the human condition and its process of spiritualization. Vigilance is needed to discern whether all "splinters" of hurt and resentment are resolved into greater self-acceptance and self-knowledge. When all past wounds are licked and healed, true gratitude flushes the psyche with sweet appreciation of the human spirit that embraces acceptance. Then a fount of forgiveness opens up, ushering in the soul with its full capacity for compassion and understanding."
"'As I listen, the Tibetan helps me to accept the pace of the process of forgiveness. It doesn't happen overnight. As with all healing, time helps to expand the vantage point on the hurts that plague us, so that we may come to terms with our part of the karmic collaboration leading to injury. To bring compassion to self is to accept our co-creation in whatever "messes" develop with others. We don't have to project our anger at self onto others within some arbitrary system of "They are wrong and I am right" or "I would never do such a thing, how could they?" "We are free to embrace all wounding experiences with curiosity, a willingness to take responsibility for our participation, and surrender to this strangely wonderful human process that allows us the free will to bombard each other with our illusions/ projections in order to eventually extract our souls' truth. Acceptance, compassion, self-love and wisdom all yield the real forgiveness--a gift from the Divine that allows us to start again and again, until our trust is complete."
"Copyright© 2006 EARTH SCHOOL: A Fresh Perspective on the Human Condition
About the Author
About the Author
Founder of the School of the Golden Discs, Moriah has been a channel for Djwhal Khul since 1986. As a soul mentor, Moriah includes astrology, dream analysis and past life integration in the intuitive work as a mid-wife to the soul alignment process. Moriah has a private practice in Shelburne Falls, MA and specializes in phone sessions.
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