By Clarence Chan

Is there any hope for saving a broken marriage? The answer is a resounding YES! That is my firm belief and conviction. If I did not believe that, I would not continue to help, advise and counsel countless married couples in resolving their problems.

If your marriage has ever been better than it is now, then there is always hope in restoring it to what it was before. Many other couples have been successful in rebuilding their broken marriages. The same will be true for you. In my experience, saving a broken marriage takes two main things. Firstly it takes attitude. And secondly it takes action. Both are hard work. Sometimes one partner starts first while the other remains passive. But if things are done right, slowly but surely your partner will start to warm up to you because he sees the efforts you are putting in to set things right.

The First Vital Element - Attitude

Let me elaborate on the two crucial elements needed to save a broken marriage. As I said, the first is attitude. There has to be correct attitudes on the part of at least one partner for the saving process to begin. The first attitude must be that divorce is out of the question. I am not in favor of an escape clause or pre-nuptial agreement. When my wife and I got married, our attitude was the word 'divorce' will not be in our marriage vocabulary. We have held on to this attitude till today. We have had our share of trials and tribulations but having this attitude has almost forced us to iron out our differences, talk things through and reconcile with each other after every disagreement.

The second essential attitude is self-change. Before you can expect your partner to change, YOU must change first. Ask your partner which areas he or she wants to see changes in you. Be humble and listen without prejudice. Then ask how he or she would like you to behave when you make those changes. Once you understand clearly what your partner expects of you, start making changes to yourself. It may be in the way you talk, dress, the friends you associate with, how you behave towards him or her, how you treat the children etc.

Write down a list of changes that you are going to make and give it to your partner. Allow him to refer to this list after a month or so and see whether you have kept your word in making those changes. If you have been faithful in doing so, he or she will start to realize that you are taking your marriage very seriously and really want to save it. This will cause him or her to reciprocate.

The Second Vital Element - Action

I have given two attitudes. Obviously there are more. But these will be covered in other publications such as my e-books. Now let me move on to the other element needed to save a broken marriage. It is action. Right action always follows right attitudes. A combination of right action arising out of right attitudes is the only hope for saving a marriage.

When it comes to right actions, the most important thing is to ensure that every action is for the benefit of your partner firstly, then only you. In other words, put your partner's interest above yours. It may be very simple actions such as coming home early everyday or keeping to spending limits or it may be more complicated actions such as overcoming a drinking habit or breaking off an affair or potential affair.

Start with the easier actions. Do the simple actions one at a time. Keep it up for a few weeks then gradually do the more difficult ones. Be consistent. Take one day at a time. Keep to your commitment to take these actions a step at a time. Eventually these actions become habitual and part of your daily routine. When your partner sees these positive actions in your lifestyle, he or she will be inclined to do his or her part in saving your marriage.

About the Author

Clarence Chan is a minister, counselor, trainer and public speaker. He specializes in family, marriage, relationships, religion and self-improvement. He has helped many couples improve their marriages over the last 20 years. Today, he continues to give advice to people personally and through his websites and blogs. Please visit http://www.savingmarriagestoday.com