Copyright by Gina Novelle Merrell 09-2007

Have you noticed that Moms spend hours telling you about their labor pains? But these same Moms hold back and never discuss the facts which I'm about to reveal to you about children. Every new mother that actually gets past the horror stories of labor and has a baby was never told the real truths about kids. Here goes!

I was not a young mother. I had my first child at the age of 35, the second at 41, and the last child at 47. The reason for the six year span was to avoid child fights. That's when I discovered Mom forgot to tell me one very important fact. It doesn't matter how close or far in age, all children fight. My five year old can actually win an argument with my 17 year old.

I have all girls, and Mom left out the little secret about the morning ritual, known as the hairbrush hunt. Yes, each girl has at least 2 hairbrushes, 4 combs, and hundreds of other hair accessories. But without fail, every morning, none of these items can be found in any drawer, pocket, box, or container that should or would hold such items.

Wait, you say that's why you want all boys. Great, then the hairbrush hunt turns into the hammer hunt or scissors search. When you find the hammer, the head is missing. If you are lucky to find one pair of scissors, I guarantee they will no longer cut even paper.

When you have children, you will never ever go to the bathroom alone again. Just take the door right off. Trust me; it will be easier, with less crying or fighting. Try to teach your children that the neighbor kids are not welcome to visit you there. Note I said the word TRY!

You will never talk on the phone without being interrupted by one or more children. You can sit anywhere in the house, while the kids totally ignore your presence, until the phone rings. Then the magic happens. Children appear from nowhere, all with several questions that just have to be answered at that moment. Important questions, like have you seen the hairbrush, hammer or scissors.

Potty Jokes! You thought your little brother was bad as a child. Just wait until you have a five year old. Remember they learn about the potty at the age of two, but talk about it until the age of 8 (older for boys.)

Here's the best secret Mom kept. Remember all the times you had to sneak around as a teenager, just to kiss a guy. That was nothing. When you have a kid, you and your spouse become King and Queen of Stealth Lovemaking. Your bedroom becomes a bunker, with pillows under the door; and multiple locks. The only light is the TV you actually turn up; not down. Then you stuff the baby's sock left on the floor in the mouth of your partner to muffle any other sounds.

Yes, Mom never told you about these items and the reason for these well kept generation secrets is one simple fact. Mom wants to become Grandma!

About the Author

Gina Novelle Merrell is a published free lance writer. Gina put her promotional writing skills together with her computer programming background and found an innovative proven way to promote web site ranking. Her company http://www.exclusivemarkets.com ghost writes Ad Articles, and her clients enjoy top ranking status on the search engines. She also does web site design consultation and she can be reached toll free at 888-858-3778.