National Farm Safety & Health Week is the third full week in September, but on the farm it's always good to remember:
* When traveling by brahma bull, even if you're short, don't offer to ride the hump.
* You can't teach an old bull to catch a cow chip.
* When wringing a chicken's neck, keep your mouth closed.
* Whatever you do, never moon a goat.
* Smoking cornsilk in the hayloft may be hazardous to your barn.
* Trying to look confident in the presence of a skunk won't help.
* When skinny-dipping in the pond, never trust a friendly turtle.
* Never wear your $95.00 Nikes to the barn.
* Implanting a clock radio in a rooster may cause him to sleep late.
* Never order a Shirley Temple at a tractor pull.
* Make sure current birth control information is posted in the hayloft.
* Always stay at least five cow-lengths ahead of the bull behind you.
* Never trust a screw-worm with anything you truly cherish.
* Tickling a snake's belly will not make him giggle.
* When a sheep starts nuzzling you, it's probably time to shave.
* Feeding a pig diet-slop may encourage him to become a tad irrational.
* Never yell, "Drop that chicken, you turkey!" to a famished fox.
* If your tracter dies while mowing the pasture, do not try to get back to the barn by hot-wiring a heifer.
* Smoking cornsilk isn't so bad, but never smoke alfalfa without chaining yourself to the windmill.
* If a family of skunks moves in under the farmhouse, do not crawl in after them with a chainsaw. It's easier just to move.
* Storing vegetables under the house where it's cool is not a bad idea -- except for mashed potatoes.
* Be extremely careful when trying to exterminate yellow jackets with a Dustbuster.
* When skinny-dipping in the pond, stay very still if a water moccasin swims between your legs.
* And please remember, milking a cow can be very dangerous, especially if he doesn't want you to.
About the Author
Joe Hickman is editor and chief country boy at http://HaLife.com
|
