When Robert Mueller, Director of the FBI, told Congress about a meeting between Alberto Gonzales and former Attorney General John Ashcroft, he seemed to contract what Gonzales told Congress about it earlier in the week.

Mueller stated that the meeting, which occurred when Gonzales was White House counsel, was about the administration's warrantless surveillance program.

Gonzales maintained that the subject never came up. Yet Mueller spoke with Ashcroft about the meeting after Gonzales left it.

When the subject was broached that, since they disagreed, both of them could not be telling the truth, they immediately placed the blame on the truth.

Gonzales was quick to find fault, stating, "As the Attorney General, I can tell you that I have great respect for the truth but that does not mean I find the concept perfect. In fact, I think it can sometimes be extremely inflexible. I suggest that the members of Congress take this aspect of it into consideration and give me a little wiggle room."

Mueller explained, "Yes, we disagree. Honest men can do that and it has nothing to do with the truth, which, as currently interpreted, can be quite inconvenient. If you ask me, the FBI should be given the assignment to look into the whole idea of the truth, how it came about, and if some action can be taken to rectify it."

Congress reacted to their faulting of the truth with surprising warmth and agreed to consider the difficulties adherence to it can present. Perhaps the legislators realized that, if the official definition of the truth could be broadened, the new interpretation would be more forgiving of the claims they make when they run for office.

Gonzales encouraged their malleability, declaring, "We've all heard the truth shall make you free. But let's face it. Under the current definition, it can also force you to resign. And, gentlemen, I'm not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere. So let's reconsider why we're paying so much attention to an inconvenient idea like the truth."

About the Author

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience."