This reflects not only the changing times, but also the legal complications that may arise from such a situation. Under the existing laws of the land, a spouse in the UK is allowed to file for a divorce on grounds of infidelity. This has to be proved conclusively, of course, and the respondent, if he or she wishes so, has the right to defend the case at court. The third party involved may be called for testimony. The legal matters will include decisions concerning child custody and inheritance, including any child born out of wedlock.

The Statistics

According to the figures provided by the Office of National Statistics, till 2005, infidelity does continue to be a major cause for divorce. The tolerance level of spouses towards extramarital affairs is also quite low, as another government survey on British attitudes and opinions reveal. This is true of same sex and cohabiting couples as well. In the case of same sex couples, the fidelity factor is the least important. Out of those who filed for divorce on grounds of infidelity, more than 75% were women. It has also been noted that some couples wish to maintain a certain amount of respectability on this matter, or simply cannot afford a court case though they cordially hate each other. These cases are, therefore, registered as no-faults divorce for the sake of speed and money. If a marriage has passed more than fifteen years, it is supposed to be more safe from divorce. However, when it comes to divorce on grounds of infidelity, the marriage might be quite old. The affair concerned usually features an older male and a younger female. Sometimes, in certain demographic ranges, the age difference can be quite huge. This is particularly true of corporate giants, celebrities, media magnates, and other wealthy people. Whether it is the pressure of their career on so many years of marriage, or the nature of their job, or a kind of emptiness at their present mode of existence, these powerful men tend to have an affair. The sad thing is that a very small percentage of these affairs mature into marriage or even a long-term cohabitation. Both remarriage and divorce rates are very high in the age group of 35 - 45.

When to Part

The problem is this crucial decision of divorce. How do you know that you have found true and enduring love, and it is worth leaving your family for? There is no way to generalize, since each human being and each situation are different, but there are certain considerations that you may try applying to your particular case before coming to a final conclusion.

• Are you sure you want to do this? It may sound banal, but ask yourself whether you want to see your lover when you wake up every day. So far, the two of you had only been having an affair. Will you be able to go on with it for the rest of your lives? Spending a few days together and a lifelong companionship are not the same thing. Do not jump from one transient relation to another, hurting yourself and those around you en route.
• If you have children they may be a serious consideration. You will probably not win the custody rights, so think whether you can bear with it. The pain of not meeting your children can be more searing than parting with your spouse, so look before you leap.
• Your marriage may have been dead for sometime. So is this affair a way out for you? If it is only an excuse to find freedom, you should not let your current partner labour under any rosy illusions. You cannot raise hopes where there is nothing except a sigh of relief. Keep things clear from the very beginning, that will make it less painful and also way less complicated.
• If you are in love with someone much younger to you, reconsider before you break your marriage or tie the knot again. What you decide now is going to affect several people who will, in all probability, outlive you.
• If you are sure that this is actually the love of your life, you might as well go on with it, sticking around in the marriage will only create a web of deceit.

About the Author

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk