The circumstances in your lives seem to happen by chance. You may blame your single status and dating bad luck on others and good experiences on random fate. The Law of Attraction states that your life experience is a direct result of your thinking. In order to change those ideas to attract the love you want, you must change the pattern of thought on the subconscious level. Understanding the power of the subconscious is the key to attracting the love of your life.

Imagine the conscious mind as a driver and the subconscious as a car. The driver of the car cannot go anywhere without the support of the engine, wheels and fuel. When a car breaks down, you look under the hood to see what needs to be fixed. If you want love but cannot seem to attract a good relationship, you should look within for a block in the subconscious. When you constantly arrive at an unplanned destination, it is like being asleep at the wheel as the subconscious operates on autopilot. The best way to stay in control of your dating life is to change the habitual thinking that led to your past pattern of bad relationships.

The subconscious is a giant database of all of your experiences and memories since conception. It holds the information on how to walk and talk, as well as beliefs that fire is hot and ice cream tastes good. This database contains all of your memories, habits, emotional responses, and opinions. All life events are neutral. You give meaning to the events that ultimately shape your experience. We formed basic beliefs early on that are reinforced throughout life. All humans have a unique blueprint in their subconscious. Just like a magnet, your individual blueprint attracts everything you experience, including every relationship.

As your mind begins to mature around eight years old, you form the critical mind to help filter out what you believe and do not believe. The critical mind serves as a gatekeeper between the conscious and subconscious mind. This is the chatterbox you hear all day long. These chattering thoughts judge and analyze your world, as it feeds past ideas from the subconscious up to your conscious mind. The gateway also prevents new ideas from entering the subconscious if they are incompatible with the established belief system.

Have you ever known a woman with low self-esteem when it comes to dating? She may be attractive and intelligent, but her subconscious may be running a program that she is not wanted. This false inner belief acts like a magnet, attracting suitors that reinforce that idea. She will be drawn to men that treat her poorly, and reject nicer men that pursue her. She may not realize why she repeats the same pattern, because it lies beneath her conscious awareness. She could have decided that she was not wanted when she was picked last on the kickball team in first grade or even as early as conception when the pregnancy was not planned. An emotional experience created the initial program, "I am not wanted," and subsequent events reinforced the idea throughout her life. Unless she uncovers and alters this program, the same circumstances will be drawn to her in the future.

Self-hypnosis uses the altered state or trance that relaxes the chatter mind, so that subconscious patterns can be reprogrammed in alignment with your conscious will. This experience is similar to watching television or listening to music. Affirmations are typically not effective because the critical mind is constantly rejecting new ideas. You can change subconscious programming by using self-hypnosis audio programs, or simply by focusing on positive ideas as you drift off to slumber every night. Listening to self-hypnosis programs daily for at least 30 days can reprogram your habitual thinking and change your internal magnet. Most clients who used my Attract the Love of Your Life CD met their man within 30-90 days. If you are ready for love, this is the easiest and fastest way to change those patterns.

Your life has been fueled by the quality of thoughts held in the subconscious. As you adjust inner programming, the things you want in life are naturally attracted to you. You will become irresistible to men, feel more confident in social settings and have a more relaxed, joyful presence. Change your internal magnet to thoughts of abundance, self-love and joy, and you will experience the world in a new way.

About the Author

Debra Berndt, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Dating Expert. Berndt is the creator of The Dating Makeover by Hypnodeb.com - A self-hypnosis system to attract the love of your life. For more information on Debra and her services, please feel free to visit: http://www.thedatingmakeover.com