My 15-year old daughter, she of the high school English Honors and International Baccalaureate Program, wants to teach me how to be a better copywriter.

She doesn't think I'm quite up to snuff yet.

"You can't write that. That's not even a sentence!" she complains, looking over my shoulder as I craft a salesletter for a client. "And sales letter is two words," she snorts, as she reads further. "And thru is spelled t-h-r-o-u-g-h! And you're not supposed to start a sentence with and!"

Oh, really!

My wrath is soon delivered, fast and true, and my honor saved at the point of a verbal blade.

"Listen, little Miss Muffet," I says. "My pitiful grammar is gonna pay for your college education - and medical school - provided I let you live! So just turn around and don't let the door hit ya' in the asterisk on your way out!"

It's a Simple Question: Money or Good Grammar?

This is the real world, my friend - the marketing and sales world.

So you're gonna have to ask yourself: do you want to sell your products or services and make buckets of money... or do you just want to look smart and make your English teacher proud?

Me, personally, I vote for the money - by making more money for my clients - and let Funk and Wagnalls turn in their graves.

Now, of course, if you're looking to produce a brochure, a white paper, press release or any other editorial or journalistic type of copy, then yes. Spelling and grammar are important.

You don't want to come across as an uneducated dolt - because not only will it reflect badly on you, it'll also reflect poorly on your product and company, and hence your bottom line.

But... when you're writing a salesletter (or even a sales letter)... there just ain't no rules, mate!

Anything and everything goes - so long as it gets the job done: which is to get your prospect, cum letter-reader, to buy, subscribe or call, as the case may be.

Belly-Up to the Bar, My Friend, and I'll Tell You a Story...

You see, the best sales letters, the most effective, the biggest money-pulling sales letters (even if they're emails) are personal letters.

It doesn't matter that you're sending the letter to 500,000 rented names; you're still "talking" to one person at a time.

And based on your in-depth market research you should know that this person enjoys a particular life-style, inhabits a specific socio-economic niche, and has particular deep-seated wants, needs and fears.

And you should also know that this person is human in the deepest sense of the word: filled with strong emotions and adamant beliefs, noble strengths and foolish foibles.

So wouldn't you think that this individual might appreciate a little honest-to-God hand-holding, and some heart-felt, one-on-one communication and understanding, too?

Now then... you could, if you choose, talk over this person's head with cold and stiff corporate-speak, blind-siding him with your education, diction and superiority - and yet leave him unimpressed, uninspired, and with his money still in his or her pocket.

Or...

You can belly-up to the bar with him, kinda natural like. Buy him a drink - scotch or beer (you should already know what he likes before you invite him) and talk straight and easy with him, just like he's an old bud of yours.

Don't be a Fast-Talkin' Stranger!

If your friend is a blue-collar worker, or a red neck good ol' boy - you're sure as shit gonna be throwin' in some colorful language here and there in your "conversation" with him, because that's the way they like to talk. And they like to hang and drink - and trust people - that talk the way they do.

Or, if you're writing to a crusty old retiree, who's been around the block a few times; who's fielded sales pitches from the best of them since before you were born - are you going to waste your time, and his, trying to prove the superiority of your widget by snowing him with disrespectful, fast-talking, hype-filled sales prose, or technical mumbo-jumbo in perfect Queen's English? (Now wasn't that a beauty of a run-on sentence? But who cares if you got the point!)

Or, while nodding your head slowly and knowingly as you listen to his story, based on your in-depth research... are you going to show him thru colorful words that create vibrant images in his mind - thru words that comfortably compliment his core beliefs - how you can perfectly satisfy his specific wants or needs, or end, once and for all, his unbearable frustration, pain or anger? (Wow! Two humdingers in a row. Proust and Joyce, here I come!)

And if you can do that - do you think he's gonna give a damn or even prefer that you write cannot instead of can't, or does not instead of doesn't? Will he even notice that you've begun a sentence with and, or hung a dangling participle out to dry at a sentence's end?

The Point Is...

Your sales letter's only job is to communicate in language that best gets thru to your prospect. And proper English and syntax be damned - if it gets in the way.

So if you're writing a letter to a purchasing manager of a mid-size company, whose job is on the line every day, who's under constant pressure from above and below, where one wrong big-dollar purchase can put his imminent retirement in the toilet... how are you going to talk to him?

Are you going to pay more attention to proper diction, correct punctuation, approved sentence structure, and arms-length formality?

Or are you going to get your message across by putting your arm around his shoulder, buddy-buddy like?

The answer will only be revealed when, based on your in-depth research, you discover what it's truly like to live, work and communicate in the trenches - the mid-size corporate trenches - that have fed this man's family, put his kids through college and paid for his wife's recent cancer operation.

And only then, when you have heard his voice and understood his thoughts - only then will you know how to effectively, and thereby properly, phrase a letter to this person.

Walk the Walk, Talk the Talk

If your target market, whoever it may be, is impressed, moved, motivated and most of all - persuaded - by 10-cent words that might cause the average Joe to run to the dictionary, then by all means use them. If not, leave them out.

One of the best copywriters to ever write a sales letter said, your letter should be like a department store window. The customer should see through and beyond it, never once noticing it - seeing only what's for sale, displayed in the most compelling light.

And the only way to do that is to write a letter in a way that the reader himself thinks and speaks when he is totally within himself, comfortable and at ease and open to suggestion.

Till the next time...

Barry A. Densa is one of America's top freelance direct response copywriters. Visit www.WritingWithPersonality.com and see how Barry easily and quickly converts prospects into buyers using "salesmanship in print" - and while there sign up for his highly regarded FREE ezine, Marketing Wit & Wisdom!

About the Author

Barry Densa is a freelance direct response copywriter who often injects a wry sense of humor into his powerfully motivating copy. Subscribe to his popular free ezine "Marketing Wit & Wisdom" when you visit his website at www.WritingWithPersonality.com where you'll see how Barry persuades prospects to buy, inquire or subscribe using "salesmanship in print".