Don't Be Surprised If Liberals Demand Equal Time

by Michael D. Hume, M.S.

I drove around town today and saw a number of signs outside gas stations. According to these signs, obviously placed by right-wing hatemongers, gasoline is actually priced pretty close to four bucks these days... for EACH and EVERY gallon.

Hate! Fearmongering! Racism!

Gas has never been this expensive in America - and experts say this is just the beginning. But wasn't this all supposed to be George W. Bush's fault? As I recall, Bush, somehow in cahoots with Big Oil and Terrorist Oil Cartels, single-handedly drove gas prices pretty high in 2008, and that's why we desperately needed to elect Barack Obama. But Bush has been gone for more than two years now, and gas is higher than ever. How could this be?

We voters thought Mr. Obama was joking when he said that energy prices would "necessarily skyrocket" under his policies. Well, the joke's on us. Ha ha! I guess he wasn't kidding. His administration is doing its best to choke off all petroleum production in America, along with the employment and tax revenue it brings, because wind and solar energy are so much better for the planet. My car was tossed about by the wind today, and the sunshine made it warm there in the driver's seat, but I can't rightly say the vehicle was propelled by either source. No, it was the $75 worth of petroleum I'd recently purchased that was doing the job.

President Obama's policy is to give the American petroleum industry a "haircut." Actually, he's given it a "Brazilian." While it's just too darn dangerous for our advanced companies to drill offshore for oil, the president has "loaned" two billion dollars to Brazil so that they can drill for oil and sell it back to us at a markup. Meanwhile, of course, we had to borrow that $2 billion from the Chinese... so who's really winning here? The Chinese and Brazilians, sure. The U.S. taxpayer? Not so much. But that's OK. The president clearly feels we've had it too good for too long.

So don't look for lower gas prices any time soon.

If I were in business to run a campaign against the president (which I'm not), I think I'd put up billboards and banner ads all over the place that included three simple lines:

January 20, 2009:

Bush's Last Day!

Gas was $1.84.

'Nuff said.

But I think it's only a matter of time before the liberal collectivist/socialist/statist powers figure out that the American taxpayer is already aware of the huge increase in gas prices, and what that increase means. Therefore, the liberals will argue, every gas price sign with a figure like "$3.86" or "$4.11" or "$5.10" is really a political ad AGAINST our annointed president! And they'll want equal time. After all, fair is fair.

I wonder what that will look like. Will gas stations, currently required to post their prices, now be required NOT to? Will they be required to lie? Here's a thought: they could post the gas price thus: "$1.84/gal PLUS a reasonable premium to cover government entitlement spending."

Or maybe the opposition will simply be allowed to insert something else in there alongside the gas prices, such as this:

"Regular $4.19... The Evil Republicans Want Your Grandma To Die!"

"Plus $4.34... The Evil Republicans Want The Earth To Explode!"

"Premium $4.59... Tax The Rich! Tax, Baby, Tax!"

Ah, campaign season. It's all the time, nowadays. So it'll be fun to see how these blatantly one-sided ads are answered by our friends on the Left. Hopefully, when all is said and done, you will still at least be able to know what the gas price is before you pull up to the pump. Being able to pay for it is, of course, another matter.

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